Love Letters - 0013

I love you, but I don't need you. I recognize that this frightens you, but it is also exactly why I intrigue you. You want me desperate for you, but you can never possess me. You cannot have me so to yourself, and it maddens you. I will never allow myself to be possessed by anyone, ever. I will take no one's last name. I will have no one's children. Most importantly, I will never give up my freedom. Never. Never, never, never. It is precisely what made me take decisive action for myself to become sterilized, the desire to never have someone's children. I will not have my identity ripped from me, and take another's last name. I am proud to be from my family line, with all of its flaws and drawbacks, however thoroughly flawed we all are. We all deserve happiness. We all deserve freedom. I love you, and I love myself. If you are forcing me to choose, I will always and forever choose myself. After all, we must so ensure our own survival first; I shall put my mask on first in the plane, and then assist the other passengers. I am alive because I choose to struggle and writhe, not sink back into my own complacency. Life is beautiful, wonderful. Mysterious. But to me, more than anything, life should be passionate. Loved passionately, really throwing myself at everything I have ever wanted until I am so overwhelmed, it kills me. Anything to die with meaning, and having done so with my complete and full attention to it.

These are my terms; accept them, or move along.